I had to relearn how to write for myself, because posting was just causing too much anxiety.
Yes, I think that's exactly it. I had stopped writing altogether and lost my confidence in my ability, and then I started doing a bit of fanfic again and that really helped me to rediscover the joy of it and the certainty that it is something that I can do. But posting is such a crap-shoot, and you never know whether you're going to get more comments than you imagined or none at all. And that's not great for the nerves!
It is so odd that it's always the fic you care about most that seems to do unexpectedly poorly. I suppose it's some sort of tax you pay for writing something that is specially for you, but it does make you feel like you're a bit of an outcast from humanity because your tastes are so strange to everyone else.
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Date: 2024-07-07 08:10 pm (UTC)From:I had to relearn how to write for myself, because posting was just causing too much anxiety.
Yes, I think that's exactly it. I had stopped writing altogether and lost my confidence in my ability, and then I started doing a bit of fanfic again and that really helped me to rediscover the joy of it and the certainty that it is something that I can do. But posting is such a crap-shoot, and you never know whether you're going to get more comments than you imagined or none at all. And that's not great for the nerves!
It is so odd that it's always the fic you care about most that seems to do unexpectedly poorly. I suppose it's some sort of tax you pay for writing something that is specially for you, but it does make you feel like you're a bit of an outcast from humanity because your tastes are so strange to everyone else.