Etiquette?

[galadhir]

Is it okay to just slide into a complete stranger's DW over here and comment on their latest post as if you've known them for years? Or would a "hello, I hope you don't mind that I subscribed to you, I saw that we shared an interest in [whatever]" need to come first?

Comments

[ranunculus]

I think it is nice to say hi, and I'm so-and-so from LJ, Potboy or whatever.
In any case I came over to say hello and say that I noticed you subscribing to my journal. I hope between the two of us we can breathe a bit of energy into the Permaculture journal...

[galadhir]

That makes a lot of sense! I've just got to seize my courage in both hands and do it :) But thank you again for coming over, and yes, it would be nice to be able to get a little permaculture club going on or something. Even to have someone to talk to about compost is great!

[mistressofmuses]

I have no real idea what DW etiquette demands, lol.

But hi! :D

[galadhir]

Thank you! Yours was one of the journals I almost commented on last night and then chickened out on, so imagine my joy at not having to wonder any more :)

[duskpeterson]

I've done it both ways, but I agree with ranunculus - it's polite to introduce oneself. It saves them from having to figure out whether you and they have spoken before.

[galadhir]

That makes a lot of sense, and so far everyone over here has been lovely. I got used to Tumblr where often people react with hostility if you comment on their personal posts, and it's going to take a while until I don't expect to be attacked every time I open my mouth :)

[duskpeterson]

The only widespread etiquette policy on commenting that I know of at DW is that people will sometimes post their personal policies on comments and follows, either on their profile or in a sticky post at the top of their journal. Also, some people prefer that you ask before linking to a post - but the last time I asked someone for permission to link to their post, they chewed me out for wasting their time with a question to which the answer was obviously yes. :) So there's no guarantee that someone won't snap at you for something.

[galadhir]

Ha! That seems to be the way of it on social media these days. (Gosh, now I'm really sounding like an old person.) But yes, maybe it's time for me to take my courage in both hands and attempt a second phase of getting to know new people. Thanks!

[duskpeterson]

Oh, do. There are so many lovely people here. I usually find people through comments they've made to posts by people I'm already following. Also, the communities are a good place to meet people, though they're not as active as I'd like.

[galadhir]

No, I can't believe that even Metafandom is gone (or is at least inactive.) That's a whole era in itself!

[duskpeterson]

metanews too!

[galadhir]

That's sad. I'm very grateful to them both for the education they gave me in LGBTQ issues and race issues - mainly just from people talking about their own experiences and what bothered them in fandom.

[duskpeterson]

I so miss the conversations I used to have in fandom. Are there many going on at Pillowfort?

[galadhir]

I never managed to get onto Pillowfort, so I don't know what happens there :) Tumblr continues to be quite interesting, and in fact is a bit improved on how it used to be. But of course it's not a great format for conversation.

[duskpeterson]

Whoops, sorry; I misremembered an earlier conversation.

I'm finding there's good meme fic at Tumblr; I just wish it was easier to locate it. I've found some accounts that track Space Australia stories, but there must be lots of other stories floating around there.

As far as conversations go . . . Yeah, it's sort of a weird format for that.

[galadhir]

Oh yes, it's definitely there - there is such a lot of good stuff on Tumblr, but it's also much easier to navigate if you have a currently active fandom. Then you can follow the people who are also involved in that fandom and the fic will come across your dash. But sadly despite an attack of interest in The Terror, I haven't managed to feel fannish about anything lately, which means I can't focus it down enough to be useful.

[duskpeterson]

My fandom is originalfic. :) Which has often made it difficult to track fic. Back in the 00s, there were some communities devoted to originalfic, at LJ and elsewhere. But they all seem to have died. The Slash Pile at Tumblr is still stumbling along, but last I checked, it was mainly webcomic recs.

I tried Wattpad, but the quality of noise to good fic was just too high. So I keep my eye on the Original Work tag at AO3, but I really miss the conversations that we originalfic writers and readers used to have.

[galadhir]

Oh nice! Well, I left LJ after turning some of my fanfic into original fic and getting published with it :) After which I spent 10 years writing original m/m romance. And I'm still writing original fic now, although it's SF/F and some of it I'm writing as a ghostwriter for someone else. So I would love to chat about the perils of original fic writing, as that's where I am now :)

(And yes, I tried Wattpad too, but as you say. They encourage a style of writing I don't enjoy.)

[duskpeterson]

(Happily does a quick web search.) Yup, I thought so - we were hanging out at LJ during the same time period. And since you say in the 2006 thread I found that you were writing m/m romance then, we were also hanging out in the m/m romance community during that same time period. Betcha our paths crossed. :)

This is just icing on the cake; I'd already started to sense we'd get along well. Would you care to move this conversation to email?

http://duskpeterson.com/#contact

[galadhir]

Ooh, thanks for the link! Your retrospective of the m/m romance scene looks fascinating! I wrote something similar myself in my Things Unseen: A Book of Queer Christian Witness because the whole writing slash fic and then writing m/m romance was a big part of both my realization that I was not straight and my wrestling with my religion. I'm definitely going to check out Pixel-Stained and see how you experienced the whole thing :)

I suppose it does make sense to take the chat off the public record! Part of the reason why I reverted to a fannish DW under a pseud was because blogging under my pen name felt so much like a public performance I ended up censoring myself into silence. I'll go and send you a short hello rn.

[duskpeterson]

Got your email and will reply to it! I thought I should say here, though, about Pixel-Stained: I should warn you that that volume is only about my first six months in the slash community.

[galadhir]

No problem! It's odd to be looking back on those days in retrospectives, but it's surprising how different the world is now than it was when I started writing slash. And how different I am! I thought I was straight at that point :)

[westerling]

Nice to meet you. Thank you for reaching out. I have been out of the habit of DW/LJ in general, and finding people based on interests in particular, so this is fun! Also, not only do we share some folky interests but I see from your bio that we like a bunch of the same books.

[galadhir]

Thank you for reaching back! And yes, I don't know whether I'm getting too old now or what, but even social media suddenly seems exhausting. There's so much choice that I find myself signing up for everything and then being overwhelmed and neglecting it all. This is an attempt to repair that by going back to a format that I really enjoyed and found more of a blessing than a burden.

Here's hoping we can dance again this year! Who do you dance with?

[westerling]

I've taken the opposite approach by signing up for hardly anything but heavily lurking on Twitter to get links to news. I haaaaaaate FB with a passion. And yes, you have described how I used to feel about LJ, which I abandoned when you had to agree to the anti-LGBTQ+ TOS. I imported everything here and then there's been a gap, partly because a lot of my really close friends over the years have gone to FB or didn't make the move from LJ, so it got awfully quiet in here. I loved the long form and the silly, intelligent humor from most of the people I met here (well, LJ, but you get the idea). It was great for making unusual connections and having thoughtful conversation. Anyway, I decided a few months ago that I wanted to really use my account again.

So, I dance with a Cotswold team called Wakerobin, in Massachusetts (they are in my profile pic). We do Fieldtown and Oddington, mostly, and then I also dance on a Molly team. And you?

BTW, I love the Murderbot books with every fiber of my being.

[galadhir]

Oh yes, I hate FB too, but unfortunately it's where all my friends and neighbours in real life hang out, so if I want to be involved in my real life community, FB is the place I have to go. I still avoid it as much as I can.

And yes, that was about the time I left LJ as well. I wish I'd managed to import my LJ into DW, but I didn't. And like you I found it just too quiet here and went off to try and find somewhere else. But DW has certainly stood the test of time, given that it's here still, ten years later :) It's nice to think that perhaps people are actually drifting back.

I dance with Sutton Masque, Ely & Littleport Riot Border morris, and Coton Morris, which is a Cotswold side. I normally play the whistle for them all too, but I've been learning to play the melodeon over the lockdown, so by the time we're dancing again I might be doing that :)

Oh yes! I love the Murderbot books too. I read through all of the books and then I bought all the audiobooks as well, and now they're probably my number one comfort read. The narrator of the audiobooks is very good. I've just started listening from All Systems Red again today, in fact :) they're so kindly, and you can't say that of many books

[westerling]

Hooray for multiple teams! I play the fiddle kind of badly for my team sometimes but we have a completely wonderful and competent musician most of the time, so usually I dance and everybody's happier. :D

Coincidentally Kobo (what I use for audiobooks) just offered 2 of the Murderbot books at a good sale price so I bought them, and am looking forward to hearing them. I read them all, some of them twice and I have the new one preordered. I also loved the Goblin Emperor, which I saw in your list, and Arkady Martine's A Memory Called Empire. Last few months, I've leaned heavily into audiobooks, though. I'm hoping to get more focus and attention span again soon so I can actually sit and read. What crazy times.

[galadhir]

Oh gosh! Playing the fiddle badly is a higher level of musicianship than playing the melodeon at all :)

I have all the Murderbot audiobooks, and I have all the books :) It's a different experience reading them to the experience of hearing them, but both are good. Also, I don't think it's so much a matter of focus and attention span, rather having enough free time to dedicate to reading. I can listen to an audiobook when I'm cleaning the kitchen, or cooking, or digging the garden etc, so audiobooks make it possible to read a book while simultaneously doing something else.

Also ooh. Yes, I adore The Goblin Emperor, which makes me think that since I share that with you too, I might like A Memory Called Empire which I hadn't heard of before. So I've just bought that! Fingers crossed :)

[westerling]

I have the second Arkady Martine waiting for me at the bookshop, can't wait. If I can only get myself time to read it. Her work has a certain feel similar to Lois McMaster Bujold's Vorkosigan saga, if you're familiar with that series. Kind of classics at this point.

And yes I use audiobooks all the time now and that's sometimes the only way I can get anything done at all!

[galadhir]

I have bought the audiobook of the first one, but then I got distracted by listening to the Murderbot diaries again from the beginning, so I won't get around to reading it until finishing Network Effect. I do like Lois McMaster Bujold, though so I feel pretty confident about it. I'm looking forward to it :)