My most important goals for 2023 were to paint Son's boat (and thus reassure myself that it wasn't in imminent danger of falling apart due to rust) and to see him settled with some kind of job with which he could support his immediate needs.
Both of those were achieved. We stripped and painted the boat over the summer, and in doing so discovered that the rust was largely superficial and the structure of the boat was sounder than I had feared.
We also stripped and painted the fresh water tank, which had been so full of rust I was worried that it was going to rust through at any moment and flood the bilges. And it turned out that it too was sounder than I had feared. It will have to be done again every year for several years running to fully eliminate the rust, but the boatyard men were not concerned about it, and as long as we keep on top of it, it should be fine.
Son is now installed in permanent mooring and has found a temporary job which will keep him (heh) afloat while he looks for something better.
I can therefore go into 2024 without the family-related stress and dread that was such a feature of late 2022 and the entirety of 2023.
I shouldn't say things like that because it tempts fate, but as of 1/1/2024 that is the situation. So I can turn my thoughts to 2024 with that ticked off at least.
Goals for 2024
Family-related goals this year
- Help Daughter/Fiance arrange their wedding.
- Help Son get the boat re-blacked, water tank stripped and re-painted, bow decoration painted, and engine idle finally fixed
Personal goals
I looked on the internet for 'Fun New Year Resolutions' and could not find any. Apparently you're not supposed to make resolutions to have more fun. You're supposed to be grinding away at exercise and work as though we weren't all already doing the best we could.
I can't make resolutions about health because I am now aware that if your health decides to bork you, there is nothing you can do about it. This will be the first year, I think, where I go into it fully aware of being chronically ill, and how that means that I no longer even have the illusion of control.
So, my goals are going to be small. And they're not going to be resolutions, because I am not resolved to do them if it turns out I can't. They're more like guidelines.
- Write a new original novel. I've signed up for
![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
gywo to do the 120 days pledge, which means that for at least 120 days of this year I will work on something to do with my new novel. - Finish podficcing at least my major Tolkien fanfics
- Get to the point where I can cycle three times a week and dance twice a week without triggering a flare-up. (I have been cycling three times a week with no trouble for years, and have just about managed to fit in one dance class with only the occasional flare. I have the feeling that increasing to a second dance class a week will require a lot of patience and care. But I think I can get there if I do it gradually enough.)
- Learn how to cook good vegan food. Now I'm dairy intolerant I have to learn to cook again. As I've always loved Asian food, this is a great excuse to learn to make Thai/Korean/Japanese food myself. It's healthy, it's gorgeous, why wouldn't I? (Also vegan desserts, and - dammit - I want a cheese scone again, even if it's vegan cheese.)
- Sew all the things
- Start Roses & Castles painting again
- Learn something difficult. It may be time for me to try maths again, or coding, or a language. Or playing the melodeon with the bases. Something that does not come to me naturally.
That will do, I think :)
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Date: 2024-01-01 01:07 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2024-01-01 08:12 pm (UTC)From:Oh thank you! I followed the link and ended up buying something from the recommendations instead. I'll let you know what the recipe book I did get turned out like when it arrives - maybe we can share recipes!
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Date: 2024-01-01 08:19 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2024-01-01 09:38 pm (UTC)From:That sounds like fun :) And yes, I actually hate cooking, but I do like eating fresh food so cooking is inevitable. I know what you mean about the slog! I can't believe we have to do it every day, sometimes three times a day. Ugh!
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Date: 2024-01-01 02:34 pm (UTC)From:Here's a site I use for recipes, especially things like sauces and dips that are usually dairy-based: https://makeitdairyfree.com/
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Date: 2024-01-01 08:47 pm (UTC)From:Ooh that vegan recipe site looks great! The African Peanut stew is calling to me for a start. Thank you! and yes, it's such a relief to know the paint on the boat is fully waterproof now, and Son feels like it's the best boat in the marina, so that's a result :)
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Date: 2024-01-01 06:06 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2024-01-01 08:55 pm (UTC)From:Thank you! Yes, I was thinking that I wouldn't be able to commit to a![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
getyourwordsout pledge this year, but then I saw the habit tracker one and thought that looked doable no matter how dreadful I felt. Fingers crossed :)
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Date: 2024-01-01 08:01 pm (UTC)From:And when it comes to resolutions, I have the same mindset as you, where they're more just guidelines that I don't need to complete. I might check out that original novel challenge! Thank you for sharing!
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Date: 2024-01-01 09:35 pm (UTC)From:Thank you! The book and the cycling/dancing are my priorities, but I am aware that two lots of dancing in a week might be pushing it.
The![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
gywo or ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
getyourwordsout challenge is for any kind of fiction you like - so you could use it for your original fiction and/or your fanfic. As long as you write something it's good enough :)
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Date: 2024-01-02 02:33 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2024-01-01 11:39 pm (UTC)From:A good point about health resolutions! My illness is a bit different, but it is also something total that I can't really subvert. I wish the best for you with it, though.
Sew all the things is also a small goal of mine, I have some commissions to finish and a countless amount of personal projects.
PS. I would be overjoyed if I had a parent who genuinely considered helping me do something important as one of their goals of the year. I've never really had that, so I think your kids are really lucky and I hope they let you know.
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Date: 2024-01-02 10:35 am (UTC)From:Thank you! I do worry that I'm a bit of a helicopter parent, but I don't see why they should have to struggle if I can help them in any way. My mum was the same, and I did consider myself very fortunate in her. And yeah, my kids will occasionally text out of the blue and say 'I've found this amazing restaurant, you must come and try it!' or 'we thought we'd get tickets for [whatever] do you want to come?' So they clearly don't mind having us around, which makes me feel very lucky.
I wish you the best with your health, even if it's just a matter of being able to bear with it cheerfully, and I hope the sewing is a lot of fun :)
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Date: 2024-01-03 03:07 am (UTC)From:(She's sort of become family to me as well, she's actually my friend's partner's mother, but I catsit her cat and we do stuff together. So.)
And thank you for that! It's certainly A Thing, but I am trying to be good to myself and just accept that a lot of health advice won't quite hit the spot for me. I have ADHD so it's not a chronic illness, but it does actually affect literally everything. This year I am giving myself permission to live my way and not try to force myself to live like neurotypical people think I should.
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Date: 2024-01-03 11:48 pm (UTC)From:Thank you! That's good to hear :) I'm glad you've got a supportive parental figure even if she's not technically related. Doing stuff together and sharing cats sounds like family to me.
Oh goodness! My daughter has ADHD and my son has autism - and I strongly suspect that I might be somewhere on that spectrum too - so you have my sympathy. It's very hard figuring out how to function in a world that doesn't work in a way you can cope with. I 100% agree that the best way to cope is to work with what you've got and not try to conform to a way of doing things that doesn't work for you. Lots of things turned around for me when I gave up trying to do things 'right' and started doing them my way. I hope you find the same :)
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Date: 2024-01-04 06:42 am (UTC)From:Yeah, I am going to try doing things my way and actually see how I feel about it, because no neurotypical advice ever works, they just don't get how I can't "just save money" or "just get up with your first alarm" or "just do this thing and the other thing and also this thing".
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Date: 2024-01-04 10:28 am (UTC)From:My daughter found a book or possibly YouTube channel person who had just put out a book all about how to run a house (keep things relatively clean and put away etc) with ADHD. She found it invaluable. I know she told me about it and I thought I even bought the book, but I can't now find it anywhere (heh.) Would you like me to ask her again so I could pass it on?
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Date: 2024-01-04 06:37 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2024-01-04 10:38 pm (UTC)From:It's this one: How to keep house while drowning by KC Davis and Daughter says that the website is good too, with some free resources that she found useful.
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Date: 2024-01-06 10:34 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2024-01-02 05:41 am (UTC)From:I wish that more resolutions were fun ones! They should be fun!! But you're right - it's all about jumping from zero to suddenly working out 8 days a week, and putting in 60 hours instead of 40, and getting rid of all the fun hobbies that take you away from The Grind. That's crap!
I think your resolutions sound like good ones. Finding the time and space to do things that you enjoy and that will make you happier is what it should be all about!
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Date: 2024-01-02 12:41 pm (UTC)From:Thank you! It's a little odd to be in a year without pressing boat jobs to do, but I'm appreciating the mental space. And yeah, more resolutions should be fun! We're all trying really hard as it is, and everything is getting harder despite that. It's becoming much more vital to have something fun to keep us going.
I guess I'm going to have to come up with a list of fun resolutions by myself and put them out there onto the internet for everyone else next year :)
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Date: 2024-01-03 01:57 am (UTC)From:I've seen a tumblr post about fun resolutions, like "try as many kinds of pasta as you can in a year" or "get a different flavor of xyz thing every time you get one" or "learn to identify at least 10 plants/birds/etc. that you see frequently." Fun resolutions are the best resolutions!
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Date: 2024-01-03 10:56 pm (UTC)From:Thank you! Well, just to make things more normal, one of his solar panels apparently blew off last night, so we'll be going up there again at the weekend :)
Oh I think I must have seen that one too. I remember the pasta resolution! That was the one that made me realize it was an option to decide on things that sounded like fun, instead of just improving things.
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Date: 2024-01-04 04:54 am (UTC)From:Yes! There was a good reblog of that post that added in a bunch of peoples' fun resolution tags. Fun options are so much better than miserable ones!
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Date: 2024-01-04 10:53 am (UTC)From:LOL! This is another thing that is the fault of the previous owner - he mounted the solar panels on the lids of roof boxes, and the lids are not fastened down in any way, they just fit fairly snugly onto the bottom half of the box beneath them. Padlocking them down is a thing I've had on my list for a while if only to stop them from getting stolen if he takes the boat into any inner city area. We'll just advance that plan a little :)
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Date: 2024-01-05 03:40 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2024-01-05 09:53 am (UTC)From:Nothing visible wrong with it at least. Hopefully DH will have a way of testing that it's still emitting some kind of charge when we go to visit.
Heh, yes, the previous owner's DIY skills were nothing to write home about, but to be fair it was also the only boat in a price range Son could afford - which inevitably comes with its own problems too.
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Date: 2024-01-02 05:55 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2024-01-02 10:20 am (UTC)From:I started my veer into Asian food with Japanese just because I happened to see this vegan Japanese book when I was bumbling around the cookbook section of Amazon. So far I've mostly used it to make sauces and broth for ramen - all of which can be done just with a measuring jug and a kettle. But now that everyone's gone home after Christmas I should be able to try the more ambitious stuff. Looks simpler than I thought so far though.
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Date: 2024-01-02 09:55 am (UTC)From:I'm lactose intolerant and allergic to soy AND I try to avoid buying meat so I'm forever struggling to find things I like and can (literally) stomach. Mind you, my lactose intolerance is (luckily for me) mild enough that I can have small bits of dairy without a reckoning but I still try to avoid it.
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Date: 2024-01-02 10:50 am (UTC)From:I have! I'm afraid that's a no go for me too. In fact it was the cheese scones that started my awareness that something was wrong, as I would always feel terrible after one. But the vegan cheese isn't bad at all, so it's not too much trouble.
Oh I feel you there - I'm lactose intolerant and vegetarian (because I hate the taste of meat), and I'm married to someone who is gluten intolerant, so it is difficult. Asian food, with rice or buckwheat noodles is something we can both enjoy without setting either of us off, so that's a relief!
I will sometimes take a Lactaid pill and have dairy when we're out and about, though. I don't know if you've tried Lactaid? It's pretty miraculous.
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Date: 2024-01-02 03:45 pm (UTC)From:I agree on the whole 'fun resolutions' thing. Sod keeping it miserable - your list sounds great :D
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Date: 2024-01-02 06:43 pm (UTC)From:Thank you! And yes, I've made my first ever entry on the GYWO tracker and I love being able to see how many more days in the month I need to do in order to meet the challenge. (Not as many as I thought :) )